Vegan Cory Booker to Add ‘Sin Tax’ To Red Meat Sales


During a campaign stop in Baggersville, California yesterday, melodramatic liberal senator Cory Booker announced that he has authored a bill to add a “sin tax”, similar to liquor and cigarettes, to all red meat sold in the United States.  Booker, an avowed vegan, told the collected crowd of thousands that the tax would offset the costs of medical care from meat-loving Americans “eating unhealthily” :

“I’ve heard that human beings are ‘omnivores’.  Created to eat plants as well as animals.  This is simply not true.  Cows and chickens deserve to live just as much as you do, my friends, without fear of becoming lunch.  Nearly every illness and cancer has been linked to eating animal flesh.  I’m proposing this bill to help change minds and stomachs.”

For decades, cow scientists have recommended tasting each cow before grinding it up for quality approval. Hence, the term : “cowlick”.

Moaning about the plight of.animals that God clearly intended to be slaughtered and swallowed has been a long time habit of the senator, who resembles a cross between Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and a pine nut with arms and legs.  Booker declared his candidacy for 2020 early on, and is most popular in California, Oregon, and other similar places where liberals run around in Birkenstocks singing abortion songs and driving wind-cars.

Tesla’s new “Fruitwagon 2019” coasts a test-driver to a Brony convention.

Will this “meat tax” help or hurt Booker’s chances?  All I know is that a salad isn’t a meal.  It’s the food that my food eats.  If they raise the price of my double Whopper just to let the liberals sleep without wetting their beds, there’s gonna be blowback.  Molom labe.

About Fallis Gunnington 169 Articles
Fallis Gunnington was born the son of a missle farmer and an anti-Carter activist. Shot with a hunting rifle twice a week to toughen him up, Gunnington then joined the Kiss Army, where he received his journalism degree as well as a debilitating knee injury rendering him unable to kneel before anything but Old Glory. He is currently single, since no female yet has the appropriately mighty hips.

Be the first to comment