Hillary Clinton‘s lifeless body was found in the unlikeliest of places yesterday. Shortly after staff let the first children in for the day at the Chuck E Cheese in Springfield, Il, Clinton’s corpse was discovered in the ball pit by one terrified little boy.
Her mouth hung wide open, frozen in a terrified scream. Her left arm was outstretched and raised high as if she had been trying to climb out of her rubber orbed grave.
Police were unable to say with certainty how it is that Hillary wound up there. All they had were questions.
Was somebody chasing her? Was there a threat against her life? Had she gone in with a child? Was she simply attracted by the prospect of swimming in a rubbery sea of children’s saliva and, perhaps, urine?
By days end, witnesses had come forward with some startling information. All reported seeing Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi whooping it up all day at local hotspots. Hillary had been heard to make a comment about playing with balls but it was assumed that was some sort of innuendo. Nobody thought that it was meant literally…..as in a ball pit… in Chuck E Cheese…..with real rubber balls.
The Speaker of the House was later seen speeding from the scene in a yellow cab, furtively looking over her shoulder at the kid’s indoor play area.
Nancy Pelosi is currently wanted for questioning by police. Her whereabouts are unknown. Any information related to her location should be reported to the Springfield PD.