Probe: Mueller Received 100 Million in ‘Gifts’ From Clinton Foundation


A probe, meticulously conducted by Facebook group : “KremlinNewsAmerica” last week uncovered exactly what we hard-charging Trump-loving patriots knew from the start of the FBI’s witch hunt of an “investigation” – that the Clintons had their filthy hands all over it.  To paraphrase the popular maxim, the collusion will now be Clintified.

My favorite witch hunt was that episode of “Charmed” where Phoebe and Page jiggle.

The group, which boasts over a thousand members over the wise age of 60, posted the following conclusion of a probe that lasted over three hours and received dozens of unsubstantiated reports :

“Mueller is driving a brand new Range Rover that Killery sent right to his house, which is surrounded by a wall.  We are also positive that he received a 20-dollar Subway gift card, which can amount to four (4) 5-dollar foot-longs.  Other sources found videos of Mueller receiving packages full of marijuana cakes, ‘Drake’ CD’s, a 12-inch Boba Fett action figure still in the original box, and several loads of ‘Sherrie’s Berries’, all of which are the dark chocolate kind.”

Mrs. Gunnington received this beautiful chocolate weapon for Valentine’s Day from her cousin Buefort. He’s legally not allowed around Toyota dealerships since the incident last May. Don’t ask.

The 100 million dollar figure was confirmed by page member “Gary Jones”, who is an expert by way of getting a B+ on a math test once in 1991.  Others involved in the probe confirmed other sleazy dealings by the Clinton Crime Mafia that most of us already suspected : Hillary set up the death of Anthony Bourdain, colluded with Oblamma to send an Uber to the Benghazi attackers for their escape, and was likely R. Kelly’s pimp.  At least now, thanks to these brave seniors revealing the truth from those “granny tablets” they sell on TV during the all-day “Monk” marathons, we may finally have justice.

About Fallis Gunnington 186 Articles
Fallis Gunnington was born the son of a missle farmer and an anti-Carter activist. Shot with a hunting rifle twice a week to toughen him up, Gunnington then joined the Kiss Army, where he received his journalism degree as well as a debilitating knee injury rendering him unable to kneel before anything but Old Glory. He is currently single, since no female yet has the appropriately mighty hips.