Church Sues LGBTQ To Return Rainbow To God

God is reclaiming everything that’s his!

Several decades ago, the gays stole the rainbow from god.

They didn’t ask for it. They could have sought permission from the church. They could have prayed for a sign that the world would see. They could have asked god for a letter of permission. But they did none of these things. They just took it. And they didn’t care what anyone thought about it.

Well the church has now decided that the LGBTQ will care…..finally. They plan to file a lawsuit on behalf of God to reclaim the rainbow from the deviants. The plaintiff named in all documentation is “The Lord God Almighty” and he is pissed. Some excerpts from the suit’s paperwork are as follows :

  • ”Insofar as the Lord God Almighty created the heavens and the earth, HE lays claim to the rainbow”
  • ”As creator of the earth and that which reside and appear upon it, the Lord God Almighty claims intellectual ownership of the rainbow and any other prism color manifestations found in the universe”
  • ”the plaintiff alleges the defendant, the LGBTQ community, did unlawfully steal this intellectual property and use it for its own advancement, without consent of owner”

And on and on it goes in this manner, filled with legalese. To summarize – God made rainbows, gays stole rainbows,God wants rainbows back.

Another lawsuit has been filed on God’s behalf against R&B legends, Earth, Wind, and Fire for unauthorized use of elements. Many more suits are expected to follow.

It looks like man’s free ride is over. God is not taking it any more crap.

About Fired Writer 187 Articles
I refused to evolve and wrote fake news for cash, so I got fired.

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