Are you retired? Have you spent your life working a good job, long hours, days and nights for a good wage in order to take care of your family and contribute to the economy and the machine of toil that moves America towards the future along with millions of your countrymen, all for the good of the whole? That’s communism. But nevermind.
Have you settled into the retirement life, perhaps enjoying the spoils of your labor with a significant other in a comfortable house with grandkids visiting every holiday and screaming at your touch because you smell like stale olives and bourbon? Well, President Joe Biden wants to unzip and urinate on that personal utopia by hitting you in your dusty balls with a 18% “retirement tax.” Just for being retired.
Biden’s incoming Secretary of Cash Grabbage Joe Barron explained that the “baby boomer” generation is larger than others in modern history, and represent a juicy garden of sweet greenbacks for all Americans to roll around naked in.
“Look, it’s common knowledge that Republican Presidents built us into the debt that we’re in right now. Bush started two wars without putting them on the budget and crashed the economy. These morons, though they won’t admit it now, voted for him twice. Trump gave the rich tax cuts and grifted the country out of even more money for his own benefit and incompetence, as well as botched a pandemic to cripple businesses out of sheer stupidity. Boomers have to pay for their mistakes. Simple.”
The tax, which increased to 24% as this article was being written, is being proposed to the Democratic Congress with an estimated 99% approval chance. It sounds like you might want to hold off on putting that down payment on a new golf cart, Mr. and Mrs. Mothball. There’s a new sheriff in town, and he’s more Vic Mackie from the Shield than Buefort T. Justice.