Cadbury Calls Christians Communists

Jesus will kick their ass!

Recently, chocolatiers Cadbury removed any mention of Easter from the packaging of their chocolate eggs. This move was met with anger by true Christians across the country, who accused the company of starting a War on Easter, since their War on Christmas had already been lost to President Trump’s saintlike heroics.

Pro-church groups have been vicious with their attack.

“Cadbury hates Christians!”

”Cadbury killed Christ!”

These are just a couple of the barbs being thrown at the mega-company. Spokesperson Benjamin Thompson, explained the issues in greater detail:

“Cadbury Candy has openly declared war on the good Christians of America. When they removed mention of Easter from those sickly sweet mini eggs that was one thing. But now they’ve continued their attack with the disappearance of our most cherished holiday from the larger chocolate eggs! Even the cartoon bunny is gone!  There is nothing on God’s green earth that is more representative of Easter than bunnies, chocolate, and eggs! They go with Jesus like Turner and Hooch! They belong together! We are calling for a boycott!”

Cadbury has offered to put this Christ depiction on packaging year round

The evil conglomerate was quick to fire back.  Stephen Christiansen made the official statement :

“Cadbury Food’s is a business. We are in it to make money. We don’t care about your snowflake feelings.  This is something that American Christians have shown string support for in recent years. They basically gave our new president carte blanche to change any laws on the books to favor business.

We wish to sell these eggs year round. Easter is not a year long celebration. And packaging changes cut into our profits.

This is capitalism people. The fact that these supposed Christians are opposed to it can only mean one thing – that they are filthy, disgusting socialists. That is not what America stands for. Christians are the enemy of the American people.”

Cadbury has a lot of nerve lashing out at the religion that built America. Daily World Update supports this boycott. Let’s take them down.

About Rod Gozinya 119 Articles
Rod Gozinya is a self-described dick. This refers not to his manhood but the type of man he is. He doesn’t like you.