Ocasio-Cortez Bill Aims to Defund Police

UH OH!

Historians believe that the occupation of police officer dates back to times around 1000 B.C., when fishermen would often donate a portion of their catch to a larger friend to protect the whole from thievery or to have an untrustworthy individual savagely beaten.  Well after thousands of years of experience performing those honorable services, it appears that it’s all about to come to an end at the hands of one young bartender with a henna tattoo and a Pokemon purse.

“Omigod, have you guys seen these Baby Yoda kicks I got from Forever 21 dot com? They are totes adorbs!”

Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has authored bill MR-5150, which is designed to draw down funding to the New York police department, re-distributing it to the officers and their training instead of being used to buy military grade weaponry.  The force will still exist, or course, a concept that seems to escape the feverish drama being presented by the trumptard population, who, if told to maybe slow down on eating raw bacon fat, would start screaming that the Deep State is trying to ban pork and wait until they fall asleep to beat them in the dick with a fluorescent light bulb.

Sandy Batt of the Conservative Schizophrenic Collective took a statement from the Mini-Me version of Bernie Sanders, but female :

“Okay, so since the clusterfu*k of Iraq, a lot of weapons and equipment has filtered back to the US from that combat arena, and sold to local police precincts.  This kind of gross overarming has made peacekeepers far too focused on violence and the use of deadly force.  I think a lot of the problems police are having now are related to this fact, so I’m just redirecting their money to help them do their actual jobs more efficiently.  I know the Fox News crowd is calling it ‘defunding the cops’.  That’s them lying yet again to their viewers who are far too stupid and irrational to know better because Fox needs to sell ad time to Trump and Florida real estate magnates so that Hannity can fly to Thailand and ravage ladyboys.  Okay.  Um, what time does Sunglasses Hut open? I’m totally desperate.”

Hannity would often travel with Bill O’Reilly in case any of his prostitutes needed to be escorted down a flight of stairs the hard way.

The bill is expected to sweep through Congress easily and Cortez has already contacted George Soros to pay for the Senatorial votes necessary.  Pretty soon we may all be living in a police-free America.   Like in Night of the Comet.

About Fallis Gunnington 143 Articles
Fallis Gunnington was born the son of a missle farmer and an anti-Carter activist. Shot with a hunting rifle twice a week to toughen him up, Gunnington then joined the Kiss Army, where he received his journalism degree as well as a debilitating knee injury rendering him unable to kneel before anything but Old Glory. He is currently single, since no female yet has the appropriately mighty hips.

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