Joe Biden has reportedly taken the first steps to what we all knew the Democrats wanted all along – the repeal of the 2nd Amendment.
A source close to the Department of Executive Redundancy Planning says Biden wants the 2nd Amendment “completely revamped” to better protect Americans:
“Biden says the language is too general. He thinks we need guidelines. He thinks people running around the woods calling themselves militiamen and stockpiling guns and ammo to defend some distorted version of the constitution that makes them patriots rather than nutbags with an agenda to shoot people is just plain silly.”
Biden’s office has declined to comment, but Deputy Press Secretary Joe Barron did confirm that militias are silly:
“We call them Meal Team Six, or Gravy Seals. They have body armor up to 6X and they never forget snacks.”
Not forgetting snacks is a lesson hardest learned by the freedom fighters that took over the bird thing and busted up the cameras. That poor Ritzenhauer dude or whatever his name was really looked dumb in that video getting all pissed off about a bag of dicks.
There will be no bags of silly candies here, patriots. There will only be us, on our computers, sharing memes that we believe prove Joe Biden has cognitive issues, even though most of us don’t really know what that means.
The DERP has assured Moms Demand Action that their communist agenda of keeping kids safe at school and making sure no ordinary citizen has the capacity to murder dozens of people in 2 minutes flat will go nowhere, as usual, so real Americans can continue to stockpile .223 ammo in the bunker next to the canned peaches.
God Bless America.