Biden Sends $3 Billion in ‘Crisis Funds’ To Help Illegals In Texas

Joe Biden may have denied much-needed assistance to the people of Texas, but he sprang right into action when he heard a group of potential future voters — illegal aliens — were having a rough time.

According to a source close to both the White House and some Mexicans, the situation is dire and they need lots of help:

“The normal handouts won’t work here. We need to ensure these people stay safe and warm, then we need to grant them citizenship and register them as Democrats.”

It’s a bold plan. but it may not work, as many from south of our border are devout Catholics who hate killing babies.

Sure, they might get the votes of the very bad people, but there are also some good.

Ted Cruz, who recently returned home from Cancun, says he’s appalled that Biden hasn’t come to Texas personally to throw paper towels to a crowd of suffering people and sign bibles with a Sharpie.

Texas Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick says the freezing is probably just punishment from God and that hopefully the event ends before too many people die, which judging by the COVID crisis, is a long way off.

President Trump had no comment from his golf course in West Palm Beach, but aides say the real president is doing exactly what he would have if he was still working out of the White House, and “not to worry.”

That should make Texans feel a whole lot better.

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 131 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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