Biden Pardons Hillary Clinton And Offers Her A Job

Joe Biden has wasted no time adding monsters to the DC swamp. According to sources inside the North Wing, Biden had spaghetti with meat sauce for dinner, then he betrayed America.

First, he pardoned Hillary Clinton. Then, after some undercooked Bananas Foster, he called her and offered her a job as Special Envoy to the United Nations, North Wilmington, DE Division.

The position comes with a $390K per year salary and a house on Delaware Beach, along with an unlimited travel budget for UN business and a special provision of a full Secret Service detail for their whole family for life.

Biden reached the deal with the Clinton Foundation’s Board of Directors less than 15 minutes before John Durham was about to file charges against her for Benghazi and email fraud.

Clinton will be sworn in for a 12-year appointment at noon on February 5th, as it says in the US Constitution, Article 9 Section 17 sub-section 23. The Senate confirmed her via Zoom.

Clinton’s office in Washington will be in the Sandy Batt Executive Office Building in Foggy Bottom, right across from Denny’s.

Sally, the head waitress on Tuesdays, says they expect to go through lots of Tobasco Sauce while Special Envoy Clinton is in town:

“The last Denny’s she lived near burned to the ground with the manager inside it after they ran out and she had to eat her Moons Over My Hammy with mayo.”

No police report was ever filed on the incident, and all records that a Denny’s existed there at all have been redacted by Executive Order.

Corruption of this magnitude can’t be allowed, but alas…as long as Kamala Harris breaks the 50-50 tie in the Senate, Nancy Pelosi will get drunk on the taxpayer’s dime.

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 130 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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