Marching behind the banner of being “the Fourth Estate”, national news publication The New York Daily Herald has filed suit in a federal court to have the Trump administration release an original copy of his (theoretical) son Barron’s birth certificate.
Editor in Chief of the Herald, Joseph Barron told a gathered room of journalists that the suit was not partisan in nature, and had to do with an ongoing investigation :
“We have a very good investigative journalist working on a story involving a theory that Barron may be Ivanka’s biological son and not the first lady’s. Thus far, there is quite a lot of evidence to support this supoosition, and the one bit that would tie it all together and confirm the veracity of our sources would be a valid birth certificate. Like the many other investigations involving Trump, if he has nothing to hide, then why not simply show us? Let’s see that birth certificate! “
In a related story, another mistake of the family’s genetic material, Donald Trump Jr. ghost-wrote a new book to impress his father which nobody will read. His attempts to hawk it for a week on the morning talk shows seem to have blown up in his enormously punchable face, as booksellers across the country begin sneaking cases of the tome back INTO delivery trucks. At least little Barron knows his place. Our thanks to the New York Daily Herald who cooperated fully despite no longer existing.