SEAL Member Says ‘No Suicude. WE Detonated His Vest’

The truth is right in front of you

The official story from the Pentagon and the White House is that Abu Al Baghdadi took his own life by igniting the suicide vest he was wearing when he was chased into a dead end tunnel by our Navy SEALs. But already a member of that SEAL unit, who asked to only be identified as “The Barron”, has come forward to indignantly refute that version of events.

The Barron says he’s breaking confidentiality out of pride for his fellow assassins. The covert team are all very proud of having taken out such a man and he wants the world to know that it was America that removed the problem of the ISIS leader. He wouldn’t provide too many details about the mission but eagerly shared its end, seen to us as a silhouette and heard through garbled, difficult to understand voice distortion:

“The target must have caught wind of our arrival, so when we got to him, he was strapping himself into the explosive vest so he could make his permanent escape. It was a simple device. Our guys saw that immediately.

We decided to assist. One of the others – let’s call him Joe – shot a bean bag at the target aiming for the igniter. First shot was perfect and he was blown to smithereens. We had Baghdadi mission souvenirs splattered all over our bodies.

There was no chase. No three children. That all makes it sound great and dramatic but the truth is much simpler. It always is.

What the public heard and what the President was told was the official Pentagon report. Even Trump wouldn’t have known the real story.

Why they hid the truth is beyond my pay grade.”

“The Barron” specifically requested that we use this image in place of his own.

Baghdadi’s reported suicide was the only part of the mission that didn’t go according to plan. It appeared that we didn’t get the satisfaction of taking him out ourselves. Now we know that we actually did.

Thanks to The Barron.

About Rod Gozinya 142 Articles
Rod Gozinya is a self-described dick. This refers not to his manhood but the type of man he is. He doesn’t like you.

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