It was Fat Tuesday in New Orleans, always a huge day of celebration, parades, bright and colorful costumes, plenty of debauchery and Quid Pro Quo from wanton women for cheap beaded necklaces.
One decrepit soul is 30-year-old Senator Alexandria Ocasió-Cortez D-NY is a typical Democratic lush who can’t handle her liquor. She’s just like Ted Kennedy of Lake Chapaquiddich fame and the “so-called” Speaker of the House, Nancy “Fancy-Pants” Pelosi who is constantly sipping the hair of the dog that bit her.
AOC, as she is known by most, didn’t drown thanks to fast thinking New Orleans detective Sandy Batt who pulled the topless, drunk as a skunk Congresswoman from the Bronx out of Lake Pontchartrain.
Her bodyguard Curtis “Corn Pop” Jackson said things got really out of hand after her 6th hand-grenade within an hour, a popular alcoholic drink made famous in the New Orleans French Quarter.
“I tried really hard to stop her, but she pulled a knife on me screaming very loudly “Get back Corn Pop or Ill cut your punk ass.”, Nevertheless no matter how much I begged for her to drop the knife, she persisted and ran off into the crowd.”
The many videos of her dancing seductively down Bourbon Street singing “Beads! Beads! Give me the F*&$ing Beads” chasing a float while lifting up her wet t-shirt exposing her breasts are all sure to go viral.
Bleary-eyed, hungover with her hair a frightening mess she woke up the drunk tank screaming “Don’t you know who I am? I’ll have all of your badges…right after I throw up.”
Corn Pop was standing outside the gray bars watching his boss clutching the stainless steel toilet in the corner, shaking his head.
Such a sad metaphor for a wasted life blowing up right in front of us, all of it going down the drain like many people predicted.