Pelosi Adding Two More Articles of Impeachment

UNBELIEVABLE!

Just when you thought this whole phony baloney impeachment nonsense was finally over, it looks like Nancy Pelosi is ready to pull you back in.  Arguing that there is more planned to be identified, presented, and tried again seperately, the Speaker has announced that after Christmas, Congress will begin impeachment proceedings against President Trump again, this time for ten counts of Obstruction of justice, and six counts of violating the emoluments clause of the constitution.

If they ever find out what he did to all those pumpkins in the secret bedroom under the West Wing, they’re gonna freak.

Although holding more than one impeachment proceeding has never occurred in history, it is perfectly legal and possible.  Many believe Pelosi foresaw the coming of a Senate acquittal on their previous efforts, and kept this relative bombshell in reserve.  Some, like Senator Lindsey Graham, who is recovering from a severe case of the vapors after hearing the news, believe she is insane :

“The woman is clearly off her rockah.  My stars, we already heard about the man breakin’ all manner of laws in the Senate, and ah think it’s fairly ahbvious we just don’t care.  Ah pahty loyalty is more important.  Trump could hop on top of a mongoose and give it a handy and a blumpkin while rubbin’ the constitution on his ass, and we’d all just cheer him on.  It’s preposterous!”

Pelosi has revealed that she has numerous witnesses to again reveal specific criminal activities to the American public, including Robert Mueller and his team, several lobbyists and foreign investors paying millions to his hotels, and Vice President Mike Pence, whom the Speaker claims is being locked inside his office on a daily basis.

About Fallis Gunnington 143 Articles
Fallis Gunnington was born the son of a missle farmer and an anti-Carter activist. Shot with a hunting rifle twice a week to toughen him up, Gunnington then joined the Kiss Army, where he received his journalism degree as well as a debilitating knee injury rendering him unable to kneel before anything but Old Glory. He is currently single, since no female yet has the appropriately mighty hips.

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