AG Barr Puts Gag Order on Robert Mueller: ‘We’re Done With His Lies’

Attorney General Robert Barr has placed a gag order on Robert Mueller, ensuring that he won’t spread his lies to some congressional witch hunt. If Mueller is called to testify before Congress, he will only be able to say “I can’t discuss that at this time” anytime someone brings up Trump or Russia.

The order comes after Mueller’s obvious play for attention and fame by painting a president as a criminal even after writing a report that completely exonerates him. AG Barr says he’s tired of the lies and political posturing:

“We’ve all been duped by this guy long enough. The report is in and there is no collusion. Obstruction wasn’t even on the table. Mueller wants to move the goalposts and probably use this to run for office. Not on my watch. The gag order is permanent. This matter is closed.”

Mueller’s office released a statement saying that the gag order is unconstitutional and serves only to protect the president from further prosecution. Mueller plans to take his case to the courts to see if they’ll re-open the investigation he already botched.

The White House commented briefly that Mueller was a “Democrat and an enemy of the people.” and called for him to be arrested for conspiracy to organize a coup against the President of the United States.

Barr will now have to make a decision on whether or not he wants to arrest Mueller and charge him with high treason, which carries the death penalty if one is convicted. “Treason is a hefty charge,” said Barr, “but it certainly isn’t off the table.”

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 148 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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