Pelosi, Schumer, Join N.Y. Attorney to Abolish 2nd Amendment


It’s been a trending news story for the past week – New York attorney General Joe Barron has decided that he has enough evidence implicating the National Rifle Association in a scandalous practice of embezzling donor money to press charges against the organization.  Adding to that, he has decided to use the suit as an example of the criminal activity encouraged by weapon ownership, and will enlargen the case to completely and permanently abolish the second amendment.  That case would be fairly laughable except for the fact that power players Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer have now signed on to the lawsuit.  To enlargen it.  Enlargen.

Like Tucker Carson’s dead hooker collection.

Now despite the fact that it’s nearly impossible to change even slightly any constitutional amendment, let alone abolish one, many chucklenuts in the teabagging schizo community have nearly blown their balls into the fireplace over the report, because it’s just part of their everyday dipshittedness that everyone everywhere is after their guns.  It’s like watching a bird repeatedly slam itself into a glass door.

In reality, one would think that NRA members would embrace the lawsuit, since it seeks to punish grifters who have literally stolen their money and punish them for it, resulting in their money being returned.  But of course, as usual, the pistol-packin’ plumpatriots of the pusspublican party don’t read past the word “firearm” and go all auctioneer blabbering about their previous freedoms on gulliblepotatorage dot com.

Fictional Pelosi and Schumer will be powering up the lawsuit by using a specialized liberal “legal turbo battery”, which is installed in a lawyer’s ass physically, and will allow them to create magic liberal papers that use Harry Potter sorcery to make guns, bibles, and belt buckles with the state of Texas on them simply vanish.

Then they’re going to come for your daughters, like poor little Jenny Queefington of Alabama. (Pictured).

What will all this end as, you may ask?  A country completely devoid of disarmed fat militiamen shivering in fear at the door of a Jack In The Box?  Teenagers forced to hunt for their dinners with only bows and gay arrows?  Playing Nintendo’s Duck Hunt with just a poking magic marker?  This could easily be the beginning of a national nightmare.

About Fallis Gunnington 171 Articles
Fallis Gunnington was born the son of a missle farmer and an anti-Carter activist. Shot with a hunting rifle twice a week to toughen him up, Gunnington then joined the Kiss Army, where he received his journalism degree as well as a debilitating knee injury rendering him unable to kneel before anything but Old Glory. He is currently single, since no female yet has the appropriately mighty hips.

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